Personal Jesus

I wanted a personal Jesus
but no one ever cared
I wanted a hand to hold
but no one ever dared

And when I asked if they would die
to save me from myself
they looked quite sad
like I was mad
and asked about my health.

A personal Jesus would be nice
I'd have so much wine to drink
and if I ever hurt myself
they'd heal it pretty quick.

My very own Jesus
shipping free
delivered to my door
my parties would go down a treat
I'd never be a bore.

I'd keep my Jesus in a room
shut off from pain and lies
and if I ever did any wrong
they'd have themselves crucified

so I'd never have to suffer
for all the wrong I've done
and if they died so I could live
I'd get another one.