Today I love you.

I hope all photographers aren't like the ones I've met

I'd have to choose another profession.

I can't decide if I love or hate him most days
I suppose it makes sense I finally fell in love with him while he wasn't here.

It keeps things interesting at least.

When there's nothing you can do
you can do anything.

Useless pens
for useless people.

To fall in love
and stay in love

Being in love
and then not being in love

There are stranger things
but it's not something I'd like to get used to.

It was lying, larger than life, in the centre of a road in a place where you could forget was somewhere. It had sort of grey tan with dark brown stripes on its legs and tail with fainter spots of dark everywhere else. It lay as if asleep or caught between a stretch, like a photograph. The flies hovered on its paws, lips and eyes as if it were a pillow. It was a big cat, a tom perhaps. If it were a feral or a pet was hard to say, its fur was remarkably smooth and I felt compelled to pet it. It was the strangest thing to see, there really isn't much difference between life and death though I wish there was. I came home and sat on the couch with my old cat sleeping soundlessly on the rug with a soft lamp casting warm glows through the room. She was mostly in shadow and was laying in a strange way that meant she was deeply sleeping. She was breathing very softly and it was easy to think of her as dead, she looked very peaceful but also quite stiff and I found it very strange how easily I could imagine such a beautiful thing as dead.

Man, what a ridiculous thing.

What a ridiculous and fascinating subject

The subject of men

Ha!

You're an artist
you are!
Huh?

What else could there possibly be a photograph of?

Just this once
the ticking of a clock is not a dread
but a comfort
it is the reminder that time will continue
must continue, has to continue
there is no stopping it
and that my fear that it may stop
is unfounded
impossible
it will keep going
despite everything
and take me away from this place.

If only it could be stopped
when I reach my destination.

I cannot sleep without you
I cannot dream without you
I cannot think without you
I cannot do without you
I cannot be without you
I cannot see without you

Phantoms

The loneliness within you feel

it is not right

it is not real

it too shall pass

it will not stay

the phantom pains

will go away.

The Disappointment of Freedom

His eyes screamed for me with a soft beauty that only can be reserved for a desire so desperate that some may call it love. Love; such an unfathomable force it spares no one its finely tuned spines. I dare not wish it upon the darkest of hearts and yet its iron grip holds not with brute strength but with a sweetness that confuses, like chains made of feathers or light. So absolute is its hold you feel empty without it, like a prisoner being jailed so long they find the freedom of the outside world a stranger and long for the comfort of cool iron bars. The disappointment of freedom. Because once free from the pains of your imprisonment you are also free of purpose, the purpose to be free. Freedom has no purpose; once freedom is obtained there is nothing but to be free and what does anyone do with that?